Reflection Paper

Over the 12-year span of my swimming career, I faithfully trusted my coaches when they told me competitive swimming would take me places. At six-years-old, I dreamed of competing in the Summer Olympics, winning a gold medal, and seeing my face on the cover of a Wheaties box. However, at six-years-old, I never envisioned the mental and physical roller coaster that would define my future in the sport. I would experience numerous mental blocks and physical plateaus; I would sometimes go months and even years without achieving a best time; and I would win very few races, especially for the amount of effort I put into my nine practices each week. In high school, I grew frustrated, I doubted both my coaches and myself, and I contemplated quitting more times than I can count. But I kept swimming, hoping that each stroke and each lap would lead to the success that I sought to achieve. Then in 2014, undoubtedly the most frustrating year of my swimming career, I realized that swimming was so much more than just an extracurricular activity for me. It had become a lifestyle that streamlined me into the person I am today: dedicated, driven, and loyally interdependent.

When I first decided to expand my education, it had been so long since I had been to school, and I was very hesitant. I talked at length about my decision with my husband and with his encouragement, decided to enroll but still was not quite sure which degree program to enroll in. I knew that this was something that I had always wanted to do since I obtained my Associates Degree in Nursing, but I did not have the courage, nor did I want to give up the time with my family and children. I second guessed my abilities and my knowledge because it had been so long since I had been in college. Now that my children are about to graduate high school and

Throughout the course of this semester, I have continuously grown as a writer. Prior to taking this course, I had little experience or knowledge when it came to writing. I used to struggle with forming my thoughts into writing, let alone a paper. I was never confident with what I wrote. My writing had no greater purpose other than the assignment. My writing process included: writing my paper, proofreading it, and turning it in. Once the paper left my hands, it also left my mind. Throughout this course we worked with others, visited the writing lab, wrote critiques, and we were able to revise our papers. I believe that all of this is has caused me to grow greatly as a writer.

When I entered into high school nearly four years ago, my motivations were purely academic. I was there to get the best education I could, and to maintain a standard of scholastic excellence. Of course, the only way I knew to measure my own “success” was through concrete and quantitative means; this led me to spend my Freshman and Sophomore years fawning over test scores, GPA points, and even fractions of percents in my grades. I know now that this strategy, while effective in getting me what I wanted (or at least thought I wanted), actually left me missing a huge part of what it means to be truly educated.

On September 6, 2017, I were documented for an incident that involved a University Housing policy violation. I was charged with violating the University Housing Alcohol 1.2 policy. With my violation, came consequences. I met with The Residence Conduct Coordinator to discuss my actions and came to the conclusion that I would have to schedule a meeting with The Campus Alcohol and Drug Education Center (CADEC) and with that, a reflection paper.

Being a student athlete I have had to overcome a lot of difficulties from having a bad practice to being injured and having the tenacity to still pushing through the pain even though I risk injuring myself even more. One memory comes to mind when

Swimming has turned me into a stronger and more confident person. My persistence and relentlessness in swimming will be valuable in the future is valuable to me, and I am confident that my persistence will benefit me, as I take on future responsibilities and

“Keep going. Push through. Pain is temporary.” would be just a few things that kept me going through swim practice. Years and years of training and sacrifice all for just a slight chance for me to be the best. Sacrificing friendships and other hobbies just for a chance of success . With practices during the most erratic times of the day, school and social life had to be managed in an efficient manner. Swim being an individual sport, it taught me about perseverance and creating an own mental push. From these skills that were developed overtime I was able to push the threshold of what I thought I was capable and passed what felt impossible. That liberated feeling of winning the race and ranking first makes all the pain and difficult times to

For the majority of those seconds, I have reflected upon my choices. However, there is one choice that has greatly influenced my life- the choice to swim. At the age of three, my instructor dunked me underwater after I refused to swim. The suffocating experience of not having control over my own body traumatized me. I became so afraid of the water that I refused to swim for a year. Seven years later, I decided to overcome my fear by joining the swim team and I have been swimming ever since. Every time I get on the block to race, my anxiety comes back and I am paralyzed with fear. I have to rely on the strength of my teammates get in the water and swim, not just for the team, but for myself. Words cannot even describe how accomplished I feel when I touch the wall at the end of a race. This determination to face my fears has carried through to other aspects of my life; swimming has brought me great friends, a lifeguarding job, and valuable reflection

I am a competitive swimmer, training five or more times per week for the past 8 years, including the past two as a member of the University of Manitoba Varsity Swim Team. Student-athlete life is not easy; it often feels like there is too much on my plate to possibly complete. This leads to difficult moments and self-doubt, where it is imperative for the student-athlete to push through and achieve success through high self-efficacy and an intimate understanding of how their relationships influence their own self-efficacy.

“For these first few practices, we’re just going to work on your swimming” the coach told us. I braced myself; swimming was not what I wanted to sign up for. Still, I had come this far, I had to at least give it a try; I jumped in the water with the rest of the team. We started doing sets. It soon became clear that I was, by far, the slowest person there; on each set the rest of the team had to wait for me to finish. What they saw as an easy 50 meters, I found extremely challenging. Not just physically, but mentally. I kept thinking to myself why am I here, I’m not good enough, I’m just humiliating myself. With all these thoughts running through my head, I began to quietly cry as I swam.

The swimmers, my second family, saw another part of my personality; however, that side connected to the empowered self more than the vulnerable one. After school practices allowed me to escape the terrors I faced at home, and I desperately needed them. Unfortunately, avoiding home came to an end as soon as swim practices ended and as soon as I stepped foot out of school.

I am involved in plenty of beautiful things, so I’m kept busy all the time and it turns out that most of my hobbies aren’t what I do in my spare time, they are what leave me with little to none. My sport, my faith, and my words. Oh boy. Number one, I am a swimmer. I have been since I turned five and I hope that this sport is a part of my life forever. I’ve had great practices and dreadful practices and I’ve had good competitions and I’ve had my share of bad, excellent seasons and horrible ones, but to me swimming isn’t just something I do to be fast. I swim for my attitude, for the relationships I have with my team, to stay fit and healthy, for experiences, for laughter and for tears… I swim for me. I am also very passionate about my faith which ties in with every aspect of who I am. It strengthens my music ability, absolutly awesome people have been placed on my heart through it, my

When I first joined the swim team, I lacked in both confidence and skill. Although our coach trained us rigorously her persistence and with the team’s guidance, I began to improve. They inspired me to work harder and to push over my limit and with their support I had begun to rely

Going through the motions of life has always been something I am best at. As a twelve-year-old, sports were what my life revolved around. I would go to softball practice, put in blood, sweat, and tears for my team, and I would listen to my coach’s every word. Eventually, this became a habit- at least before I tore my ACL. However, once I tore my ACL, I had to sit out of all physical activity for a year. I had a negative attitude about changing the habit I loved to follow. Once this happened, I became shaky and sick to my stomach. I clinched my fists so hard that my fingernails cut my palms when the doctor said, “This means surgery, and you know what that means? No softball for a whole year” as if he found pleasure in crushing my dreams. I pitched a fit that I had to be in a wheelchair for a week and on crutches for four more weeks. At the end of the season, my teammates, my teammates parents, and my coaches all hugged me and told me that I was “so strong and such a positive and vibrant team player.” Looking back now, sitting out of softball for a year grew my appreciation for my teammates. I learned to approach every situation, good or bad, with an unprejudiced and positive mindset because a willingness to allow something to alter me might allow drastic revision in my life; now, I can utilize what I learned from the situation to instruct someone else.